I used to think masks were something other people used to wear until I realised I did as well. And I don’t mean face masks that are everywhere nowadays, I mean a facade, an act, something to hide.
For better or worse, holding a role (e.g. daughter, sister, consultant, employee, leader etc.) and striving hard to be those things meant wearing a mask for me. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted and genuinely felt I had to do and be those things, but sometimes it didn’t quite feel like me. When things didn’t go the way they “ought” or “should”, my inner critic would come in and rather than dissolving the mask, those feelings and thoughts would harden.
As a result of this uncomfortable and exhausting dance between the “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts”, I made a commitment with myself to:
#1. Discover who I am
#2. Follow my curiosity and respect my boundaries
#3. Question everything until I find what resonates with the truth within myself
#4. Embody my truths and always give my best (or at least try)
#5. No more white lies - they only add confusion
I could write a book about only these 5 points, but the essence of them lies in being courageous enough to be comfortable in your own skin and let go of any interference that prevents you from being “you”. As Tim Gallwey said in The Inner Game:
Potential = Talent - Interference
In this context, the mask could be seen as one of many things that undermine the fulfilment or expression of our capacities. They interfere with our capabilities, including our ability to learn, and hence, reach our fullest potential.
I’d like to think that I don’t wear one anymore, and I certainly am conscious about being as authentic as I can, but sometimes in retrospect, we see things we were not aware of during the present. All we can do is keep trying and forgive ourselves.
References & going deeper
Tim Gallwey. The Inner Game of Tennis: The Classic Guide to the Mental Side of Peak Performance. Random House Trade, 1997